There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
