omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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