she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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