I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
lol hangovers are for mortals.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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