I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You ruined the universe
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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