She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
