I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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