They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
