East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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