He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
