So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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