they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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