he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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