Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
So squirting runs in the family.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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