If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
