Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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