It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
