even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I am mentally ready for anal.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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