Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
