she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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