porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Come see our sink grown plant.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
