I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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