I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We talked him into tasing himself.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
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