what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
