your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
