I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
