He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
