The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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