Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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