So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
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