we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
