Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
where are you?
Hypothermia
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
