dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize