I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
