i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Terrible idea I love it
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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