Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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