yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
