Can i not drive my cunt home
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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