mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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