Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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