I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
