States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
