Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
