come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
People in love make me want to vomit
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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