i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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