i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
