see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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