wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
