break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Will you blow on my dice?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
