you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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