Why are handjobs necessary in class?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
