she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Less talking, more tequila
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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