Christians are straight up FREAKS
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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