her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Randomize
