saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
