found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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