it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
