Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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