i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
