my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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