Pants 0. Shit 1.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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