Dual....:-)
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
