3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
