just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Blood and glitter go together right?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
