Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I will be naked everywhere
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
