glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
