Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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