Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
