He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
