the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
