looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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